The Grim Recapper: 12 Things

Thought I'd get this started with twelve things all about me. Enjoy!

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1. On November 22, 1963, he was almost assassinated by a crazed gunman while driving through Dallas, but Scott Bakula managed to save him in time.

2. He may not necessarily be bigger than Jesus, but he's bigger in the sense that matters.

3. He spends too much time on Facebook commenting on status updates people he doesn't even know posted.

4. He cannot see Russia from his house, does not shoot bison from a helicopter, and is positive he could name at least one major American publication when asked. But he does occasionally write things on his hands to remember them. Crap.

5. He was the inspiration for the songs Barcelona, Waterloo, Tears In Heaven, and Murder On The Dancefloor.

6. He could do a better job of designing challenges and choosing locations for The Amazing Race than the current producers.

7. Monkey!

8. He would like to congratulate Ricki-Lee Coulter in advance for managing to turn the finest car seat cover money can buy into a dress for the Logies.

9. He has never bought a DVD based solely on the fact that a hot guy is semi-naked in it. Never. At all. Ever. Really. WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM THAT LOOK?!

10. He thinks Eddie McGuire better be careful when he gets back from Vancouver, because he's unpopular enough to have made it onto the List Of People That Require Unfortunate Circumstances, and once you're on the List, chances are you won't escape it until the recapper foretells said unfortunate circumstances. (See also: Michael Jackson, Australian Survivor winner Rob Dickson, Kyle Sandilands.)

11. He was as bored reading this list as you were. [Edit: And can apparently count as well as your unborn demon spawn.]